{"product_id":"functioning-out-of-spite","title":"Functioning Out Of Spite","description":"Didn‘t sleep.  Didn‘t heal.  Didn‘t ask.  Functioning Out of Spite is a loud, candy-bright loaded tea powered by cosmic rainbow, strawberry, cherry, and grape- and the sheer refusal to let anyone think that they have won.  Sweet, bold, and aggressively cheerful, this tea tastes like showing up out of pure pettiness and performing at a level that makes people uncomfortable.  It‘s not self-care.  It‘s revenge productivity and it tastes so sweet!  Sip loud.  Stay petty.  Win anyway because you clearly understood the assignment!  \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e📏 Choose Your Size\u003cbr\u003e💧 Water Bottle Size (7g)\u003cbr\u003eDoing the minimum… effectively.\u003cbr\u003eDesigned to mix into a 16.9 oz water bottle for a lighter, refreshing tea.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✨ Tumbler Size (12g)\u003cbr\u003eFully committed to the bare minimum.\u003cbr\u003eDesigned to mix into a 30+ oz tumbler for a full-strength, fully chaotic experience.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🧋 Mixing Instructions: 12 gram sized\u003cbr\u003e• Dissolve packet in 4–6 oz warm water\u003cbr\u003e• Add cold water + ice to reach desired size\u003cbr\u003e• Shake, sip, and proceed within guidelines\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFunctioning Out Of Spite contains approximately 130 mg of caffeine.  This tea contains caffeine from green tea extract powder and caffeine anhydrous.  It also contains less than 5 calories per packet.  This mix contains B12 (12 gram size).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAll of the loaded tea mixes are sugar free and are sweetened by Stevia or Sucralose only.","brand":"Chronically Chaotic Tea Company","offers":[{"title":"No Caff \/ Waterbottle- 7 grams","offer_id":46090866655430,"sku":null,"price":2.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"No Caff \/ Tumbler- 12 grams","offer_id":46090866688198,"sku":null,"price":3.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Half Caff \/ Waterbottle- 7 grams","offer_id":46090866720966,"sku":null,"price":2.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Half Caff \/ Tumbler- 12 grams","offer_id":46090866753734,"sku":null,"price":3.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fully Caffeinated \/ Waterbottle- 7 grams","offer_id":46090866786502,"sku":null,"price":2.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fully Caffeinated \/ Tumbler- 12 grams","offer_id":46090866819270,"sku":null,"price":3.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0729\/2318\/5350\/files\/il_fullxfull.8090542903_phr8.jpg?v=1784488330","url":"https:\/\/chaoticteaco.com\/products\/functioning-out-of-spite","provider":"Chronically Chaotic Tea Company","version":"1.0","type":"link"}