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Patience Sold Separately. 🍊🍍🍑🍹
Orange • Tropical Punch • Pineapple • Peach
You tried being patient.
It didn’t stick.
Patience Sold Separately. is bright, fruity, and just chaotic enough to get you through whatever is testing your last nerve today.
🍊 Orange brings a bold, citrusy kick
🍹 Tropical punch adds that juicy, high-energy sweetness
🍍 Pineapple keeps it fresh and vibrant
🍑 Peach smooths it out with a mellow finish
It’s giving:
“I’m doing my best… but my best has limits.”
📏 Choose Your Size
💧 Water Bottle Size (7g)
Holding it together… barely.
Designed to mix into a 16.9 oz water bottle for a lighter, refreshing tea.
✨ Tumbler Size (12g)
Full-strength coping mechanism.
Designed to mix into a 30+ oz tumbler for a full-day, full-chaos situation.
🧋 Mixing Instructions: Tumbler (12G)
• Dissolve packet in 4–6 oz warm water
• Add cold water + ice to reach desired size
• Shake, sip, and proceed with caution
⚡ Caffeine Info:
Patience Sold Separately contains approximately 140 of caffeine. This tea contains caffeine from green tea extract powder and caffeine anhydrous. It also contains about 8 calories and 4 carbs per packet. This mix contains Calcium, Potassium, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Pantothenic Acid, and Magnesium (12 gram size). Also available in half caffeinated and decaffeinated options.
💥 Optional Power Ups:
Customize your chaos with add-ins that may support energy, focus, gut health, and more
🖤 The Chaotic Fine Print:
• Sugar-free (sweetened with stevia and/or sucralose)
• Made in small, handmade batches
• Not medical advice — these statements have not been evaluated by the FDA
• Please enjoy responsibly (we recommend no more than 1–2 fully caffeinated teas per day)
Because patience isn’t always included… but caffeine helps.
Patience Sold Separately
$2.00
Orange • Tropical Punch • Pineapple • Peach
You tried being patient.
It didn’t stick.
Patience Sold Separately. is bright, fruity, and just chaotic enough to get you through whatever is testing your last nerve today.
🍊 Orange brings a bold, citrusy kick
🍹 Tropical punch adds that juicy, high-energy sweetness
🍍 Pineapple keeps it fresh and vibrant
🍑 Peach smooths it out with a mellow finish
It’s giving:
“I’m doing my best… but my best has limits.”
📏 Choose Your Size
💧 Water Bottle Size (7g)
Holding it together… barely.
Designed to mix into a 16.9 oz water bottle for a lighter, refreshing tea.
✨ Tumbler Size (12g)
Full-strength coping mechanism.
Designed to mix into a 30+ oz tumbler for a full-day, full-chaos situation.
🧋 Mixing Instructions: Tumbler (12G)
• Dissolve packet in 4–6 oz warm water
• Add cold water + ice to reach desired size
• Shake, sip, and proceed with caution
⚡ Caffeine Info:
Patience Sold Separately contains approximately 140 of caffeine. This tea contains caffeine from green tea extract powder and caffeine anhydrous. It also contains about 8 calories and 4 carbs per packet. This mix contains Calcium, Potassium, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Pantothenic Acid, and Magnesium (12 gram size). Also available in half caffeinated and decaffeinated options.
💥 Optional Power Ups:
Customize your chaos with add-ins that may support energy, focus, gut health, and more
🖤 The Chaotic Fine Print:
• Sugar-free (sweetened with stevia and/or sucralose)
• Made in small, handmade batches
• Not medical advice — these statements have not been evaluated by the FDA
• Please enjoy responsibly (we recommend no more than 1–2 fully caffeinated teas per day)
Because patience isn’t always included… but caffeine helps.